Yesterday was not a very good day. It seems that Mondays are bad days for me. Maybe we should outlaw Mondays.
Yesterday, after radiation I ran home to pick up Clementine, my pet hedgehog to share with my First Grade students. Only, when I went to get her out of the cage, I discovered she had died. She was over 3 years old. Pet hedgehogs often don't live much longer than 2.5. I just couldn't tell the students she had died, so I just told them she was not feeling well.
It was a horrible way to start the day/week. However, since I've been rather irritated with myself for whining so much lately, I decided that instead of counting my miseries, I would count my blessings.
It is really something we should all do more often. Unfortunately, it sometimes takes a negative to make us appreciate the positive.
My blessings are many and won't all fit here. (Maybe when I can't sleep, instead of counting book titles, I should just count blessings.)
1. My husband - he is a true saint to put up with me on a good day - much less when I'm feeling sorry for myself. I am thankful every morning I wake up and he's there next to me.
2. My sons - Patrick is my true battle buddy. He helped me through the worst deployment I've ever been through and he's been one of my biggest supporters through all of this. Ryan is one of the most talented writers I have ever run across. I'm in awe of being related to someone with so much talent.
3. Clark and Sue - my parents by choice. I'm so lucky that they have adopted me.
4. Friends and co-workers. I hang out with a very cool group of people.
5. My job - how many people get paid for being a total bookworm?
6. My health care team - they have been fabulous.
7. Having an "innocent" cancer. I've been reading Promise Me by Nancy Brinker. If I hadn't already known how mild things are fore me, after reading this book, I certainly know it now.
8. Nancy Brinker and the Susan G. Koman Foundation. I've never met Mrs. Brinker, but I owe her a great deal. Before she kept her promise to her sister, Susan, breast cancer was something kept hidden in the dark. Information and awareness are power. Without all of her efforts, treatments for breast cancer might still be stuck in the dark ages.
I could go on, but I think I'll save my other blessings for another one of those Mondays when I'm feeling sorry for myself.
This morning's radiation appointment took longer than normal. There are only 11 treatments left and they needed to do a CAT scan to get ready for the super-blast treatments the last week of treatments. So far they have been treating the whole breast, but the last week will be a concentrated radiation blast to the area where the tumors were. There's certainly a light at the end of the tunnel.
As for the Ambien and my inability to sleep through the night - well, I actually saw my radiologist today. Tuesdays are doctor day. You see whomever is on duty. I was beginning to think my doctor had run off. I like him and really trust him, so felt better seeing him. He said that the Ambien is supposed to keep me asleep. He asked me to give it another week - try taking a whole one (without the alarm clock going off at the wrong time) and see what happens. I trust him, so I'll give it another week.
After school we'll have Zumba today. Tonight, I should be able to sleep without having to count sheep, books or blessings. Monday may not have been such a great day, but Tuesday is shaping up to be a much better day.
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