It's Tuesday. That's doctor day. Still haven't seen my actual radiologist since I started the radiation treatments. Maybe next week. What makes Tuesdays so bad is I have to weigh in - not fun. And today I was up by 3 lbs. Before someone yells at me about being silly about fretting over a mere three pounds - keep in mind I have a weight problem. I have spent many years over weight - very over weight. And that is one of the things that can contribute to cancer. It's only been in the last 18 months that I got rid of the excess weight. Being skinny and relatively healthy (except for the cancer) is still new to me. So when I go up, of course I worry. Usually two pounds doesn't bother me, but three or more and I began to fret.
And I'm a stress eater. I've been trying very hard not to give into that temptation. I try to keep healthy snacks on hand for when I can't fight the temptation. But lets face it. There are just some foods I can't keep in the house. It's rather frustrating to have gained weight after last week, when I finally managed to get in some decent exercise.
The rational side of me knows that the few pounds this morning were most likely a combination of water (I had just had finished drinking roughly twenty ounces of water - not only is drinking lots of water good for you in general, but with the radiation, it's important to get at least 64 ounces a day) and the big sweater (yes it's spring, but we woke up to snow on the ground here in Colorado this morning) I was wearing. Though weight gain can be a side effect of the tamoxifen, I can avoid it - if I spend more time concentrating on being healthy and less time whining. So it's nothing to panic about - yet. However, I don't want to fall in the trap of making excuses either. It's a fine line to walk between cutting myself a little slack and keeping myself on track.